April 2020, i'm pretty sure

I read such a bonkers variety of books in April. I guess there's kind of a theme among the audiobooks since I read a lot of celebrity memoirs, but otherwise, I'm all over the place. I honestly have more to say about each book than I have in past letters I've sent out so I'll keep this intro short and sweet. I also have nothing to say because, welp, it's quarantine, baby! Let's do it. Here's what I read in the month of April.

[Physical Books]

• Bulletproof Diva by Lisa Jones
  A very good friend sent me a copy of this book, one of her favorites, because she had a feeling it would be one I related to, enjoyed, and learned from. She was correct. This book is not new (1994) but is still stunningly relevant. And I can honestly say I've never read a book or essay collection from a biracial woman who identifies solely as Black, so yes, this book hit me right where it was meant to hit me.
  [essay collection, nonfiction, Black female writer, longer read]
  
• Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, Or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson
  How about that title? My therapist recommended this book to me and she has probably never had someone take her up on a book recommendation so quickly. This one is all in the title so I don't need to go on and on about a) why she recommended it to me b) what it meant to me, but I will say, I sent the title over to a few friends that I think could also benefit from it, and if you think you can, you probably will. (I'll add that it's dope to finally have a therapist who I feel understands where I'm coming from, validates me, and gives me real ~tools~ to work with.) I can easily slip into a "no one understands me!" angsty mindset about my childhood trauma, but this book helped remind me that I am not alone in any of it.
  [psychology focused, nonfiction, white female writer, medium-ish read]
  
• The Door by Magda Szabó
  It's no longer weird to have "internet friends" that feel like best friends and thank god because I feel like Sam is one of my best friends. If I have a book soulmate (and a many-other-ways soulmate!!) it's Sam. When she was traveling earlier this year, Sam fell in love with this book and basically forced me to read it and I never ignore a recommendation from her because we like the same shit. Let me tell you, it's been a very long time since I could not put a book down, and I'm grateful for The Door reminding me how that feels. I stayed up too late reading and woke up too early to read more. I loved this one, so, so much. (Also shoutout to this book for being one of the last things I bought in real life and not online.)
  [novel, fiction, Hungarian female writer, translated, short-ish read]
  
• wow, no thank you by Samantha Irby
  I don't know how to explain how much I love this book. I've read all of Samantha Irby's books, I've gone to her events in person, I admire her so much, and somehow this still exceeded my expectations? I laughed the whole time, I had to physically set it down at one point because I was laughing too hard. I just want to sit here and type out all of the passages I loved the most, but I won't, but you should read it and then tell me what made you laugh. You need this right now, I promise.
  [essay collection, nonfiction, Black female writer, LGBTQ+, medium-ish read]
  
• Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling; Illustrations by Jim McKay
  Little unknown book, I know. This month, I read the illustrated version for the first time and cried because some of the illustrations are just so fucking beautiful. Younger me would have never believed how this series would keep reinventing itself, and how relevant it would still be in my dumb adult life. And in case you're wondering, yes, I still cry when Neville gets the points! Every! Single! Time! For! Decades!
  [fiction, first in a series, fantasy, white female writer, shorter read]
  
• The Current Affairs Mindset: Essays on People, Politics, and Culture edited by Nathan J. Robinson
  This was a gift from a dear friend. Even if it's not a book I'd usually pick up, if a friend buys me a book, I'm going to read it. (Or at least try to read it!) This collection of essays was fantastic, and though I liked some essays more than others (duh, that's true of any essay collection), I feel a bit more open-minded having heard some of these writers' opinions. Reading this was kind of like being on twitter but where I agree with everyone and it feels more controlled. Also, I really like Briahna Joy Gray.
  [nonfiction, essay collection, various writers, long-ish read]

[Audiobooks]

• Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain
  I was deeply sad when Anthony Bourdain left this earth, but I'll admit it was more because of how he departed and less because I was a big fan. I decided to listen to this after someone I met had mentioned he was listening to the audiobook a few months ago. I have a lot of reservations about the service industry, so I honestly went into this with some hesitation. It's older (published in 2000) and everyone knows I had a tumultuous relationship with someone in the service industry for like a decade of my life. We broke up for a lot of underlying reasons (in short, he is bad and I am good) but the fucking service industry was one of them. Anyway, Bourdain is genuine. I could feel his true passion and he was clearly not telling stories to seem enviable or cool, like many other service industry people do. I was surprised at how much I loved this book and immediately declared that I'd "get into Bourdain" this year, so I think it's just the beginning for us.
  [I guess kind of a memoir?, nonfiction, white male writer/chef, read by author]
  
• Open Book: A Memoir by Jessica Simpson
  You have probably heard that this is very good. It is true. Sure, there were one or two things I didn't love (lots of like, support the troops vibes that catapulted me back to my Dubya sign stealing days as a teenager) but most celebrity memoirs have cringey shit like that. But girl, she's smart, kind, and honest. It's admirable. There is also a lot of information in here about John Mayer that had me jumping on my couch screaming "FINALLY!!!!" into the stale air because I fucking hate that guy and as if I ever needed a reason to hate him beyond him calling his dick a white supremacist, I now have it! It's so cool to remember that even super hot famous people have dated awful men! Anyway, it's much, much more than John Mayer slander. The book is about family, addiction, faith, bad relationships, gross music industry bullshit, abuse, and body image issues – god, so many – and just feeling like you aren't enough. I didn't think I could relate to Jessica Simpson beyond sharing a first name and a generation, but welp! Here we are. (Also fuck Justin Timberlake too.)
  [memoir, nonfiction, white female writer/singer, prob some ghostwriting too, read by author]
  
• We're Going to Need More Wine by Gabrielle Union
  I needed something to follow up Jessica's memoir and remembered that I'd never read Gabrielle Union's. I've always loved Gabrielle obviously. Her book was excellent. Her voice is so soothing and good. She's been through some shit. She's unapologetically Black. She's an incredible woman and mother and person. It went way too quick. I'd like to be invited to her house for dinner.
  [memoir, nonfiction, Black female writer/actress, read by author]
  
• The Year of Less by Cait Flanders
  Eh. I loved the idea of a "shopping ban" so this book grabbed my attention and the audiobook is super short. What I appreciated is that Cait Flanders has a ton of discipline. She saved a shit ton of money. I like the mindfulness (but hate that fucking word) of her goal, especially because I'm a super goal person. However before Cait quit shopping frivolously, she also lost 30 pounds and got sober. The alcoholism and sobriety bits in the book were great and also interests of mine. (Need a sobriety memoir rec? Leslie Jamison's The Recovering.) The diet and 30 pounds stuff, though? Most women are victims of diet culture and society's bullshit regarding weight loss, absolutely including myself right this damn second. (Quarantine? Not great for body image issues!) I think eating well and losing weight are fine! I think it's great if you want it! But I didn't like how she talked about it and I didn't like how eventually everything was restricted. She'd do little bans, like 30 days without television, or like, no TV after 9pm. I just don't like living a life where everything is restricted. I hate ~wellness culture~. I hate instagram influencers. I hate when people give up weird shit like sparkling water or tea (??) because I just don't think you need to give that up. (Unless it fucks you up, I guess?? But does it really?) I like little goals, I am super down with doing something if it has a clear benefit, but I do not like when people give stuff up just because they want their life to feel disciplined. I wouldn't recommend this book because I think a really specific person has to read it to avoid letting the not-great messaging get to them, but I mostly eye rolled through that shit and enjoyed the rest!
  [memoir, self-help, nonfiction, white female writer, read by author]

[What I Recommend]

The only thing I read this month that I would 110% recommend to anyone is Sam Irby's wow, no thank you. And I guess if you have still not read Harry Potter, I'll do my due diligence and say it is a very good series even despite the memes and the shouts of "read another book!" and J.K. Rowling's incredibly disappointing transphobia. The world, the Harry Potter universe, those characters – it really is as special as everyone has ever told you.

"Books! And cleverness! There are more important things - friendship and bravery..." – Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

"Life is an impossibly long and unyielding march to the grave, peppered along the way with myriad disappointments and misfortunes." – wow, no thank you

I am going to try to read more in May. I hope you read one thing you like, even if it's a long instagram caption. Love you, friends, family, and kind strangers.