January 2021, it's our anniversary!

It’s true! I have been writing this thing for a full year! I feel like I thank people a lot for reading this even though I don’t have to because you don’t have to read it and maybe you don’t even read it! Which would be fair because I do not often read, in full, the newsletters that appear in my inbox.

But since I do really enjoy writing this and I really care to make it fun and good for other people, I’d like feedback. Is there anything you wish I covered that I don’t? (Example, publisher? Pub date/year?) Do you hate the little summary of the author’s gender and race at the end of every book? (Refrain from emailing me if you just want to tell me you don’t like cisgender as a term, that’s not really what I’m asking.) Do you hate the quotes? Do you wish there were MORE QUOTES? Do you want the book blurbs to be shorter? Longer?? (Prob not going to happen.) Do you want star ratings?? (Also prob not going to happen, I am a terrible critic and my ratings would mean nothing.) Do you want something I haven’t thought of that is a fun and good idea?

If you just open and read these because you are a nice person and a good friend and don’t have feedback, that’s fine. I’m a Leo and not getting feedback is basically a compliment.

But if you have some, respond to this and let me know! Okay here’s January 2021 — a year that sounds and feels fake and has been very tumultuous, like every month. Life is a scam!

[Books I Read With My Eyes]

The Dutch House by Ann Patchett
Quick summary: a coming-of-age story about two siblings who are forever bonded to each other through a strange upbringing and a compelling house.

Last year my sister-friend Kelsey and I embarked on the same long book together (The Sport of Kings, detailed in this past letter) and this year, we did it again with The Dutch House. The last week of December, I decided to stay away from books and read some long essays online and happened to click this one and that’s how I ended up here. My first Patchett and oh boy was it a good one. I loved this dark, reflective story about a family with baggage! I love to read about baggage. (Also, Tom Hanks reads the audiobook and I will likely listen to that later this year.)
[coming-of-age, fiction, novel, written by a white cisgender woman, medium length read that goes quick!]

Red Pill by Hari Kunzru
Quick summary: We follow a writer fulfilling a fellowship in Germany who cannot produce anything for the life of him and ends up delving into a show called Blue Lives and then is being watched and his wife is worrying from home and eventually we switch stories and everything is everywhere and complex and impossible to stop thinking about.

I am almost not smart enough to read Hari Kunzru, but somehow I slide in there and really focus to make sure I am giving the depth and originality exactly what it deserves — my full attention. I don’t even know how to talk about the content of this book so I will just say that it is a ride. You’ve probably gotten used to the trump administration (or references to it) slowly becoming normal, even in the lightest of fiction. When stories aren’t even specifically about him or the past five years, it still creeps up, in lines like, “even if I could ignore the conversations, the headlines on the newspapers at the bodega, I could hardly fail to notice the tension in the air, a general anxiety that has nothing to do with my mental state.” Anyway, Red Pill is not about donald trump the man himself directly, but it is a political, paranoid allegory, so. It’s kinda familiar! And credit for my interest in this novel and Kunzru in general goes to my dear friend Dave Wheeler.
[political dystopian fiction, novel, written by a British Indian cisgender man, medium in length, but thick with powerful sentences, take your time with it]

Luster: a novel by Raven Leilani
Quick summary: A story about a Black girl in her 20s, making poor dating choices and figuring her shit out.

This book was a big conversation topic in the reading communities I follow and it did not let me down. If you’ve been reading this letter for a year, you probably know that I like fiction stories about fucked up people who make questionable choices, and prefer when those stories (and all stories) are written by Black women. To me, perfect.
[fiction, novel, written by a Black cisgender woman, shorter read]

Shit, Actually: The Definitive, 100% Objective Guide to Modern Cinema by Lindy West
Quick summary: It’s just a book of funny essays about movies most of us have seen and love.

I like Lindy West and I was very excited to read something from her that was not weighted in political distress — not just for me, but I am sure it was fun for her as well. I really enjoyed this book but will admit I skipped the three chapters that were about movies I don’t know and/or know but don’t know well enough to care! I usually do not skip even a single page of a book I read, but who cares! Nothing matters! Who do I think is grading me??? Also I feel obligated to note that Titanic has a chapter here. So does Harry Potter.
[humor, nonfiction, kind of essays?, written by a white cisgender woman, as long of a read as you want it to be]

Plenty. by BeeLyn Naihiwet
Quick summary: Beautiful poetry.

There are some lines in Plenty. that tipped me over, ever so slightly, like trying to stand proud through a strong gust. Though Naihiwet’s personal life is woven throughout her words, so is universality and strength — as only a Black woman’s perspective can truly deliver. Lines like, “they don’t know what to do with you/a woman who is plenty,” will stay with me, embossed into whatever section of my brain makes me feel seen and heard. I came across Naihiwet through a dear friend, Tirhase, who is the best champion for her friends. She was spot on with this recommendation — a local Black writer with the power to make me feel. You can order Naihiwet’s book through Finishing Line Press.
[poetry, nonfiction, written by an Ethiopian-American cisgender woman, as long of a read as you need it to be, like all poetry collections]

Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol by Holly Whitaker
Quick summary: Part history, part personal memoir — one person’s decision to become a nondrinker.

I was interested in this because I am interested in sobriety and recovery stories and I find the ties of addiction and capitalism and the history of all of the above very interesting. This book has an absolutely awful #girlboss title so I hesitated at first, and yes it is written by a very I-drank-whiskey-with-the-guys power CEO type of white millennial woman, which is just about my least favorite type of person. But this isn’t just a memoir! The history stuff is great, and her personal reflections are pretty good too. I found Whitaker to be self aware enough that I ended up feeling a bit fond of her.

When I posted the book on instagram, I got a lot of messages. There’s so much guilt around alcohol consumption that I cannot tell you if you need to stop drinking or not and I will not share with everyone my personal experiences or feelings with drinking because it’s all too personal. I know people are curious if I’ve quit drinking or maybe why I picked up the book in the first place, but that’s not what I’m here to talk about. I’m here to talk about the book.

Unfortunately, the title is misleading. I was really excited to read this book because I thought, finally! I’m going to hear from someone who is also like, damn the Bravermans drink so much wine that it is hard not to join in with them during a Parenthood rewatch!, but this isn’t really about how absorbed we all are in alcohol culture. (Which I hate! And if you also have an alcoholic father, you probably share my frustration that every Father’s Day card is about booze.) I think we as a culture do make too many weird alcohol jokes and I think too many people have personalties that are just “rose” and I do want to live in a world where I am not offered a drink everywhere I turn.

Whitaker also created Tempest, an alternative to AA, and this book got a bit sales-y at the end as she outlined their values and stuff. Totally understand why she did and I would too if I owned a business and wrote a book, but I did skim some of that stuff. As I said before, I can’t tell you if you’ll like this book or if you need this book or if I think you should read this book and didn’t realize it would be such a hot topic when I posted one picture without commentary!
[nonfiction, memoir, psych, written by a white cisgender woman, medium length read]

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia
Quick summary: We follow Noemí Taboada to some big creepy estate to see what’s going on with her cousin, who has been writing strange letters to the family and then a whole bunch of shit happens from there.

This was a very eerie and fun and suspenseful novel that also triggered my trypophobia but I liked the book so it was worth it this time. I have never read a book that detailed some of the more monumental nightmares I’ve had in my life? When I was a kid, I had a dream once or twice about a very tall, very scary bug-like man who walked very quickly toward me even though his knees bent in backward. Like many terrifying dreams, I could not scream, even when I opened my mouth and tried. Hence, the following description freaked me out:

“He was a tall man even in his old age, and she didn’t like looking up at him, she didn’t like seeing him bend toward her like that. He looked like a stick insect, an insect hiding under a velvet robe. His lips curved into a smile as he leaned down closer, peering carefully at her.”

Silvia Moreno-Garcia, are you in charge of my nightmares? Also that’s just a good description for the way most men make me feel. Anyway, this book was great! Well worth the hype.
[fiction novel, suspense, written by a Mexican-Canadian cisgender woman, medium length read]

[Audiobooks]

Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel
Quick summary: Esther Perel talks about why so many married people struggle with desire and their sexual relationships.

Like I wrote last month, I really admire Esther Perel. She has a good read on humans and human behavior and I find relationship stuff very interesting, which is why I read this book. Mating in Captivity is both older (published in 2006) and less relevant to my life and experiences, but I still enjoyed it. This is a book I could never directly recommend because it might seem like I am making assumptions about married people so if you are a married person or a person in a long-term relationship who has experienced fluctuation in your sex life, maybe check this out!
[sex and sexuality, psych, nonfiction, written by a white cisgender woman, read by the author]

Eat a Peach: A Memoir by David Chang
Quick summary: David Chang talks about the service industry.

I think I like David Chang, but here’s what I’ve realized — I need to lay off the food memoirs for awhile because everyone’s stories about being in the weeds in a restaurant are starting to sound the same. That’s on me, though — I’ve read too many in a short period of time. And while I give it up to Chang for being (kinda) self-aware, I really don’t need to hear a man’s take on the me too movement ever again probably? I also acknowledge that anger issues and trauma are absolutely legitimate but I don’t necessarily think I need to hear a man’s process of trying to stop yelling at his employees anymore. I really just don’t care. Anyway, the best part of this book was the afterword, which was Chang saying “oh yeah so everything changed while this book was coming out so here’s some stuff about the restaurant industry now, in summer 2020.” Still a trip to me that we are here now, a time when incorporating COVID-19 and the pandemic into our stories is basically a must.
[food memoir, nonfiction, written by a Korean American cisgender man, read by the author]

Pushout: The Criminalization of Black Girls in Schools by Monique W. Morris
Quick summary: The title tells us all. Black girls are treated like shit — why and how can we change that?

I have mentioned the Zora 100 Best Books by Black Female Authors before, but I decided to revisit it and pull out what might be nice to listen to instead of read. I typically only enjoy memoirs read by the author, but don’t mind some nonfiction in audio too — like a long educational podcast. This book — as in the content of the book — was great. I really appreciated Morris’s insight and the care she gave in having these conversations with young Black youth, primarily girls but many gender-fluid and nonbinary too, most of them queer. I have some experience here. Not only in that I was also once a biracial girl who had to navigate identity issues and a complex family situation, but because I work with kids just like the ones featured in this book. Many of these kids are or were in state care and have been in and out of group homes. I think it’s pretty close to true to say that I care about nothing more than I care about Black youth in America, so this book was right up my alley and it delivered. Relevant even though it was published a few years ago, though it deserves an update in this very recently post-trump (holy shit that felt good to write), midst-of-a-pandemic world. Oh, but the audiobook was terrible! Really, really do not recommend, it’s very poorly made and also kinda felt like I asked Black Siri to read it to me.
[racism and antiracism, social analysis study, nonfiction, written by a Black cisgender woman, read by Kristyl Dawn Tift, sorry Kristyl!!]

Things I Should Have Told My Daughter: Lies, Lessons & Love Affairs by Pearl Cleage
Quick summary: Many diary entries from Pearl Cleage!

Again inspired by that aforementioned ZORA list! I had never even heard of playwright and activist Pearl Cleage, who is now an old friend. This book was like a walk through history, all told through the voice and eyes of Cleage herself. What an enjoyable way to review a bit of Black history. I am infinitely envious of people who kept journals throughout their lives (though I constantly tell myself it’s not too late).
[memoir, nonfiction, Black history, written by a Black cisgender woman, read by the author]

[What I Recommend]

Everything I read this month, I really enjoyed, but I think what I’d most recommend is Luster and Mexican Gothic. Red Pill is great if you feel up to paying close attention and being challenged, and the quitting alcohol book, we’ve been over. Read it if you want! Also, especially if you live in Seattle, support BeeLyn Naihiwet by ordering her book.

January is always so damn long. I hope you’ve survived and your head is up and you have a nice February. 💝

“Even the stupidest ideas have resonance once they’ve happened.” The Dutch House

“People never talk about the insanity of the decision to start a family with everything an adult knows about the world, or about the terrible sensation of risk that descends on a man…” Red Pill

“…racism is often so mundane it leaves your head spinning, the hand of the ordinary in your slow, psychic death so sly and absurd you being to distrust your own eyes.” Luster

“I think of all the gods I have made out of feeble men.” Luster

“She wished for eternal youth and endless merriment.” Mexican Gothic