October 2021, you ol' ghoul
Things that felt like guarantees big and small — a meal out, a quick shot (either kind), the ability to plan a trip with a friend — just aren’t anymore. Nothing works like it used to work. More importantly, it doesn’t work to push forward for the old way if the old way is gone.
A few months ago, I could not stop dropping my phone flat on its glass face. I dropped it on my boyfriend’s uncarpeted floor multiple times, I dropped it in the gravel in front of my building at least twice, and its last hurrah was when I dropped it on the ground outside of my coworker’s house in a city I don’t live in. I’m not a phone dropper usually, and I’m in the minority of someone who’s never even really cracked a screen in the decade of having a phone as expensive as one month of my rent.
But now, my phone was fidgety. I tried to text my boyfriend but sent him my location instead. I almost tweeted a link to the official gmail app from my work account. My touch was rendered useless. I’d click one app and something else would open and start typing. I tried to text my best friend back and it started to call someone I hadn’t talked to in years! I was forced to seek out a cell phone repair place. I am me so I didn’t get it officially fixed but instead went to a place I came across called CellPhoneRepair (CPR). They were quick and fixed it for $140 including a discount because I promised to leave a good google review.
Since my phone was repaired at CPR in Multnomah County, it hasn’t been the same. It averages eight seconds for a screenshot, some apps take forever to open, sometimes I have to close out of the messaging app if I’m trying to send a photo and do it the other way around. None of this really matters and none of it even bothers me all that much but every time I grab my phone, I think, “nothing works anymore.”
Lately, it really feels like nothing works anymore. This morning I read headlines about people trapped at Shanghai Disneyland because someone was positive for COVID-19 and then immediately after read that American Airlines has to cancel 1500 flights because of weather and staffing issues. Sometimes I go to pick up food somewhere and can’t decide if I’m helping or hurting. Do understaffed restaurants need me to show up to support them or leave them alone so they can take a breath? Do I reschedule the flu shot because there are two people so backed up that they’re openly upset about how understaffed they are and how impossible this feels? (I didn’t reschedule, but the shot hurt like a bitch. Still, get your flu shot if you can.)
Things that felt like guarantees big and small — a meal out, a quick shot (either kind), the ability to plan a trip with a friend — just aren’t anymore. Nothing works like it used to work. More importantly, it doesn’t work to push forward for the old way if the old way is gone.
Crazy how a stupid phone can make you think, eh? Anyway, here’s what I read this month.
[Books I Read]
Seek You: A Journey Through American Loneliness by Kristen Radtke, published 2021 | Quick summary: Through various lenses, we walk through the history of loneliness, how common it is, how frequent we feel it, and how isolating it can be.
Though six months ago I would have scoffed at the thought of reading anything that even flirted with being a reflection of quarantine, the pandemic, or both, Seek You is wonderful, and not necessarily a COVID-19 project. Radtke started this work before the pandemic hit, and though the book was released this year and certainly resonates more literally than it might have pre-pandemic, these are universal feelings.
[graphic novel, nonfiction, written and illustrated by a white American cis woman, medium length read]
Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro, published 2021 | Quick summary: Klara is an Artificial Friend who is adopted? purchased? by a girl named Josie and in five parts, learns about human life and love.
Halfway through Klara and the Sun, I couldn’t help but think of two beloved stories: Ishiguro’s 2005 novel Never Let Me Go and Disney/Pixar’s Toy Story. Ishiguro crafts such specifically detailed passages to make something that seems unexceptional vastly interesting. Beyond the unique and intricate story of friendship, loss, climate change (kinda??), and growing up, Klara herself is a character that will stick with me. (My one tiny complaint which is just a reflection on how my brain is goo — I had to train myself to start reading the initialism “AF” as “artificial friend” instead of “as fuck.”)
[novel, dystopian fiction, written by a British-Japanese cis man, long-ish read that can go quick]
A Touch of Jen by Beth Morgan, published 2021 | Quick summary: A couple that should not be together is addicted to internet stalking Jen, an influencer-type they sort of know in real life. And then shit gets crazy.
I for one love the rise in acknowledging social media, instagram in particular, in modern day fiction. I loved Megan Angelo’s Followers, I loved the movie Ingrid Goes West, and I loved this crazy book. I appreciate that every fictional interpretation of social media I can think of is also deeply grim, uncomfortably funny, and usually ends with everything going to absolute shit. Isn’t that pretty much what social media is doing to us? Anyway, A Touch of Jen starts out as one thing and ends up as something very different. I enjoyed both parts equally.
[novel, fiction, dark humor, written by a white American cis woman, medium-length read that flies by]
What White Parents Should Know About Transracial Adoption: An Adoptee’s Perspective on its History, Nuances, and Practices by Melissa Guida-Richards, published 2021| Quick summary: The title kinda tells you what this one is about.
I’m really excited to be co-sponsoring an event with my favorite local bookstore, Third Place Books! Because of this partnership, I got a copy of Guida-Richards’s book on the house, which I always find thrilling. A free book! This is a specific book so I obviously wouldn’t recommend it to everyone but I also want to note that the content is relevant in general, not just if you’re curious about fostering or adopting someone who doesn’t share your cultural background. I was not adopted and I was never in foster care, but I find myself identifying a bit with transracial adoptee’s stories, and not just because this is the kind of work I do in my full-time job. Being a biracial kid raised solely by my white mother, I’ve felt parallels in these stories. If you are white and have anyone in your family who is not, you’d benefit from reading this too.
[nonfiction, adoption and family, written by a Colombian-American cis woman who is a transracial adoptee, shorter read but one you’ll want to reference]
[Books I Heard]
The Soul of an Octopus: A Surprising Exploration into the Wonder of Consciousness by Sy Montgomery, published 2016 | Quick summary: Sy kicks it with octopuses, y’all!
Who is cooler than Sy Montgomery? I read How to Be A Good Creature: A Memoir in Thirteen Animals a few years ago and quickly became a fan. That book! I laughed, I cried, I felt like being a better creature — and I’m not even like an animal person person. I’ve heard many wonderful things about The Soul of an Octopus and it lived up to each of those rave reviews. I listened to Montgomery herself read this one but, like all of her books, this is on my “to buy” list in the future.
[nature, memoir, nonfiction, written by a white American cis woman, longer listen, read by the author]
Empty: a Memoir by Susan Burton, published 2020 | Quick summary: Susan Burton details her decades long illnesses; anorexia and eating.
I have complex feelings about trigger warnings, largely because well-meaning people will say “trigger warning” before something that everyone should have to face front on. However, this is an extremely triggering subject so wade away if you need to.
I feel beyond lucky, like I dodged an almost literal bullet, that I do not and have never had an eating disorder. I was able to listen to this book without being sucked back into time or tempted to revisit an old addiction. I am deeply fascinated by the concept of the teenage girl, especially the white teenage girl. I’ve always thought I didn’t fall victim to comparing my body to my classmates because I just didn’t see myself in any of them. I’m biracial and didn’t go to school with many other biracial people, and only a few other Black girls. I also lucked out with a mom who, though certainly of the Diet Generation, did not diet. I am not untouchable. I have done many, many things to try to lose weight or get down to a size I felt most comfortable at, which is to say, not comfortable at all. I thought Burton’s memoir was very brave and interesting. She struggle(s/d) with anorexia and overeating and was well into her 30s when she first started talking about it. She discusses the concept of the teenage girl throughout her personal narrative and even though she really deep dives on seemingly insignificant shit like old boyfriends and crushes, I enjoyed even that stuff.
[nonfiction, memoir/psychology, written by a white American cis woman, longer listen, read by the author]
[What I Recommend]
If you can handle content on loneliness, Seek You is lovely.
If you enjoyed Never Let Me Go and/or Toy Story, you’ll like Klara and the Sun.
If you want something unexpected to make you say, “what the fuck, man?,” read A Touch of Jen.
If you are a creature on this earth, read Soul of an Octopus and probably just everything Montgomery writes.
Until next time, folks!
